Thanks to stress at work and school and general feeling of barely keeping my head above water, I've been, as Brie likes to say, "VERY anti-social" of late...and she forced (well, guilted) me into going to a coworkers housewarming party last saturday. The party was fun (pics on FB if you're interested), but it was the trip home that was, well, the most memorable that I will HOPEFULLY ever have.
Danielle (host of aforementioned housewarming party) lives north of school about 10 blocks, so the commute was very familiar to me....but of course it was the weekend and, even better, in the middle of the night...so keep that in mind.
I am on the train...FOOLISHLY thinking (probably jinxing myself) I might actually make the 3:30am ferry (what? the party didn't start until 9:30...I didn't travel 1.5 hours to stay for 10 minutes to get home at a somewhat reasonable hour)...listening to my ipod, contemplating life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, when a--what I believed to be--slightly inebriated gentleman (using the term loosely), walked over to me, and asked "does this train stop at 42nd-bleh, bleh, bleh" and when i say "bleh, bleh, bleh," i mean "puke, puke, puke."
That's right: HE PUKED ON ME!!!
take a minute. let that soak in (figuratively, of course, but if it helps you can think about it LITERALLY soaking in on my jacket) and join me when I say
ha ha ha ha. i laugh now, mainly to keep from crying.
How does one keep one's composure when this happens? I'm quite sure Miss Manners does NOT have a chapter on this, so I very firmly and loudly yelled "go away from me. go sit over there (pointing to the other end of the train). and yes. this train stops at 42nd street." then I got off at the next stop and puked myself...but IN THE TRASH CAN.
Of course, since I got off the train and had to wait another 20 minutes for another, I then missed the 3:30am ferry...and spent the rest of the evening walking like a T with outstretched arms, in one hand my bag (THANKFULLY and MIRACULOUSLY escaping the deluge of puke--which in the grand scheme of things wasn't that much, but ANY puke from a human of whom you do not know is--in my opinion--a deluge)...and in the other hand my very smelly jacket.
Meanwhile it's about 40F, which would normally make for a nice brisk evening...unless you're reeking of puke and in a sleeveless shirt because you knew it would be slightly warm at the party and dressed accordingly, but didn't give it a second thought because you had jacket to keep you warm while you were standing outside for 15 minutes waiting for the shuttle bus to the ferry (because of course, it's the weekend and there's track work being done and the train doesn't go all the way to the ferry)...oh wait...
on a positive note, I had a seat to myself for the rest of the trip....not much of a consolation prize, but at least I got to take the ferry to the isle of staten and didn't have to make the side trek through Brooklyn again...
PS--if you're wondering about the "human puke" comment, on Friday--the day before--Addy was sick and PUKED all over my feet in an attempt to get her downstairs and outside...so needless to say, but I'm going to anyway--I have had my fill of being puked on, thankyouverymuch (and Addy's okay, thanks for asking...I think she just drank too much water too quickly)