Best of Both Worlds...

I love this groomswoman stuff!! I got all the fun of hanging with the boys....and all the perks of hanging with the girls! The next day [although not too early the next day] I got my rental car and then headed down to a luxury spa for manicures and pedicures with all the girls in the wedding party. It was sooooo much fun. You sit back and relax and have both done at once....which was a new experience for me. Everyone around me was getting french manicures and neutral colors, so I felt it my duty to get Big Apple Red! I mean afterall, my dress was black and subtlety was never my strong point, so why the hell not?!?!?

I checked in with Matt before heading to the spa--he wasn't so bueno, but was at least up and moving and saying "thank god we didn't have it the night before the wedding." well, duh! like we would have let him do that, knowing full well that at some point in the night, taking shots would be involved!!

I finished with my mani/pedi just in time to go back to the hotel, change, and head over to the venue for rehearsal dinner. It was short, it was sweet, and that's a great thing because dinner was next and I was starving! The rehearsal dinner was held at a Chinese restaurant--we sat at two round tables with a turntable in the middle and dishes magically appeared and we all shared everything. I need to get me one of those "food magically appearing" turntables!! Dinner ended fairly early and everyone pretty much wanted to head back "home." Fortunately Simon & I think alike and after getting back to the hotel headed to the bar for a couple of drinks before turning in early. OKAY here's another bad idea: you should never let a Texan and an Aussie go to the hotel bar for a few drinks. really, we were just going to stay for two. really. i promise. however, along came Juan. and Juan bought us drinks. Yes, us....both of us. So there we were sitting with two new beers....what to do, what to do??? Of course we accept them and spent the next 45 minutes [he sent over another round] debating/arguing about who he was actually buying the drinks for--me or Simon. [just FYI, the jury is still out!] Finally, we decide to go talk to them and the drinks kept flowing and flowing and flowing and somehow Juan managed to get us each 3 rounds of beer to go when the bar closed--so we went out to the patio [there were about 6 of us] and the next thing you know, it's 4am and breakfast with Matt is looking like it might just have to be lunch!

:) shez

Are You The Entertainment?

Shockingly enough, Delta got into San Jose 45 minutes early. Wow! Twice in one day....I'm quite sure that's never happened before. I call Matt to see how bachelor party is going and let him know that I'm getting my rental car and heading to the hotel. No, no, no.....they're leaving one bar, headed to another, so they'll just come pick me up in the limo. Okay, great. I can handle being picked up at the airport in a limo! I notify the rental car company that I'll be picking up the car in the morning [probably late morning], grab my luggage and head outside to wait. Next to me is this nice man who asked if I'd like him to hail a taxi for me. I thank him, but say that I actually have a limo coming to pick me up. "Ahhh....hotel?" he asks. "Nope. Bachelor party." He suddenly gets very quiet and then with a smile he asks "Are you the entertainment?" HA HA HA HA....giggle....I laugh because at this point--after this day--really that's all I can do. It wasn't long and the limo pulls up and out jumps Matthew--who is well on his way to having a smashing time!

We head to a local English pub and out come the pitchers of beer....in addition to Matt & Me, there is Paul [brother-in-law], Kevin [neighbor and groomsman], and Jackie [sister and wife of Paul], who was only going to stay for a bit, but she & I got on like a house on fire and she decided to stay on and party with the rest of us! In addition to quickly downing pitchers of beer and a late night snack and a few tunes on the jutebox and several [what is the definition of several?] toasts to Matt and Lil [aka bravewoman!], we were also waiting on Simon [best man] to arrive. Simon finally arrives, joins us for a few more pitchers of beer and then we head off to the next place. A bar--that I can't remember the name of--but one that Matt & Simon had spent a lot of time at in the past. That's when it got ugly....and the shots of tequila came out....with beer chasers of course! I'm not sure whoooooooo started this trend, but somehow [batting of the eyes] I got blamed! [ALRIGHT FINE, IT WAS ME, BUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR ONLY THE FIRST ROUND!!] The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, however, I do remember not being able to remember what hotel I was staying in, so Jackie kept calling Jack to get names and addresses and driving directions, as the limo driver wasn't able to locate it. All I have to say about the rest of the evening--in addition to the incrimating photos I have of both Matt & Kevin passed out in the limo--was that I'm thankful Simon was the best man and in charge of getting Matt back home to Lil!

:) shez

Bier Bitch

Travelling with me is never dull or boring. And this trip was no exception! I was headed to San Jose, California--where Matt & Lily [aka Groom & Bride] live and in honor of their upcoming nuptials--in which I was a groomswoman. Delta Airlines--in the true spirit of service decided that the quickest/shortest/best route to San Jose from San Antonio is via Salt Lake City. Utah. I have a 3.5 hour layover [again, thanks Delta] and so I get on a few websites to see if there's anything close by the airport--that's worth a taxi/train ride to kill a bit of time. I'm not exactly sure of what there was because on the SLC WEBSITE there is a link about "our [Utah's] liquor laws." great. NOTHING good can come of clicking on this link, but intruiged, I have to click. 3.2 beer. are you kidding me? this wouldn't be bad if the beer was cheaper--but it's not going to be because--hello--it's an airport! well, I was rather distraught by this and forgot about checking into local must-see things close to the airport.

As I'm boarding the plane, I remember that I never figured out what I was going to do while at SLC airport--oh well, I guess I'll drink a few 3.2 beers and catch up on my reading. The flight up was fine...until about 30 minutes outside of SLC, when it started raining [head to Texas dear rain, head to Texas!] then the plane rocked and dipped and dropped and every person on the plane was bracing the seat in front of them as we wobbled towards the runway. When we landed, the entire plane broke out in clapping and the flight attendant announced "whew! we made it!" The clapping stopped shortly after when we realized that it was raining quite hard on the ground and being in a baby plane--we would deplane on the tarmac and have to walk [in the rain] to the terminal. joy. FINALLY reach the terminal--not quite soaked, but wet enough to be freezing while in the terminal! now....where's 3.2 beer?!?!?!?

Ahhhh....Salt Lake City. For a bit of fun with the locals, I have discovered it's best to wear one's Auslander Bier Bitch t-shirt. [For those unaware, The Auslander is a restaurant/biergarten in Fredericksburg--directly across from the wine shop...you can check it out at www.theauslander.com]. The SLC locals there aren't sure where to divert their eyes once they've read your shirt...a few will smile--until they realize you're watching them and then a frown and eye diversion quickly follows! It's even better if you head out of the terminal [it had stopped raining by now] and walk through a nice group of people waiting on several Elders to return from missions. This would for most people send them straight to hell....as far as I'm concerned, if I'm not already going to hell, I doubt that this would be the deciding factor. I'm looking around outside, breathing in the mountain [and jetfuel] air when my tummy starts rumbling and I realize it's now 6pm Texas time and I haven't eaten since breakfast. So I head back in and go through the security check. Here's a bit of advice: if you are in the SLC airport and you are wearing your bier bitch t-shirt, and the security guard asks why you left the terminal, "to smell the fresh mountain air, of course" should not be your response. I had to do quite a bit of eyelash batting to keep from getting the "thorough search," although it would have killed a bit more time [did I mention that Delta actually got us there 30 minutes early--thus giving me 4 hours??]

I find a pub to eat at...and Holy Foreign Beer Batman! There's Stella Artois on the list. I order [because surely Stella would never succumb to 3.2 status]. I am informed that it has a high alcohol content. I inform that, no it has a normal alcohol content. She [being the waitress] opens her mouth to argue, notices my t-shirt, closes her mouth and walks away. I am then presented with a cool--not cold--Stella. I ask for a glass. It NEVER appears. I order. The food was the worst I've ever tasted. period. end of discussion. She NEVER asks about it [even though I sent away a full plate of food]. I leave a $1 tip. I have to say that as a waitress, I know there are times that it gets busy and you neglect your table and I've done it--it happens. But it wasn't busy. She wasn't busy and I NEVER GOT MY DAMN GLASS FOR MY STELLA! ahem....of course making it worse was a phone call I received from my father proclaiming that he got married.

SAYWHAT?!?!?!?!? Had I been able to find my waitress, I probably would have ordered 3 more high-alcohol beers, chased with 5 shots of liquor, and after that would have been a little more lax about my crappy service and food and she could have perhaps gotten $5. Needless to say [but I'm saying it anyway] I was shocked. And for the very first time in my life speechless. Yes me. Yes speechless.

Nothing makes time fly like crappy food, non-cold beer, and family drama...so soon I was saying adios! Salt Lake City and hola! San Jose...

:) shez